This post is based on certain discussions that I have recently had with friends of my age regarding how things aren't the same with parents as they were during our childhood.
We all love our parents. And as much as we would like to believe that love is blind, we cannot deny that love isn't deaf and dumb. There are times when we hear them say things which don't fit in our logical minds. We have a completely different opinion on those topics. Sometimes we end up arguing with them but it does't help. The arguments either leave a bitterness in our hearts for some time, or just fall on deaf ears. Sometimes we even get to hear things like "you are too grown up to listen to your parents". Such statements further increase our anguish and we feel worse about these differences we have in our opinions.
Let us take a trip through our growing years and make an analysis. Why is it that we think so different from what they do when they are the ones who brought us up. Aren't we supposed to be a reflection of what our parents are? Isn't reproduction all about creating your own self, again? Let's see...
As kids we hear and understand what our parents say. We learn what they teach us. And that's it. That's truth for us. We do not know whether it's correct or not. And we don't feel the need to know. That's because our mind never challenges it. As we start growing up and meeting more people, we come across different thoughts and different beliefs. Simultaneously our logic starts developing. We start developing the power of reasoning. We start attaining capability to analyze what suits us. We start deciding whether we fit in one system or the other. We start creating our own systems as well. We get exposed to the world and our perceptions change.
Meanwhile, our parents are still living life in a similar way as they were. Of course change is inevitable. But the changes in their lives are usually not as drastic as those in ours. That's simply because they are grownup enough and we are still growing. Life was different while growing up in their times. And after an era, while we are growing, times are totally different. And so are our lives and the way we perceive it.
It is no rocket science to decipher that such differences are natural amidst generations. But yet we fail to understand them. We fail to accept them. Because they don't help us hear what our logical minds want to hear. We might even feel guilty about thinking against the thoughts of our creators. After all we do realize that we are what we are because they let us make our lives our way. And how do we overcome this discomfort caused due to the guilt? How do we cope up with those olden illogical theories? How do we bridge the gap and break the wall?
The simplest way is to understand that love and logic don't go along well. Yes. Give it another thought if you need to. Love defies logic and logic doesn't always support love. So the first thing you need to do is separate your logic from the love you have for the elderly. Now that you love them in their absolute state, let's put that important logical thinking to some good use.
Your beliefs are quite strong, aren't they? Now imagine how strong must be their belief system given that they have seen life almost twice as much as you have. When you are so sure about the correctness of your beliefs at this age, they are obviously double sure at their age. You may be ready to change your beliefs given that supporting logic convinces you. But it might not be the same with them. And that's ok. Yes, it is.
Resistance to change increases with age. Look at yourself now and compare how flexible your mind is as compared to when you were a kid. I'm sure you can see your comfort zone has shrunk over years. Today you might be ready to relocate to another continent if you get a good opportunity but your parents might not even budge at the prospects of a much better life in the neighboring city. So what? That's probably how their life has made them. And probably they didn't have as much choice to mould their lives their ways as you do. You'd never know!
The point is that we need to stop expecting them to change. We need to understand that no matter how necessary change is, it can't be denied that we are resistant to it. And their resistance is naturally going to be stronger than ours. Most of our "problems" with older generations will be solved if we stop linking them with logics and reasoning and just accept them as they are. After all, life is too short and differences will only increase the distance of travel.
