ज़रा सा वक़्त!

छोटे छोटे खिलौनों के लिए ज़िद करते थे ,
आज खुद ले सकते हैं पर चाह बदल गयी,
अब तो मन चाहता है कि यादों के समंदर में गोता लगाओ,
और ढूँढके सारे ख़ज़ाने वापिस लाओ!

जिनसे हक़ से लड़ते थे वो इंसान वापिस लाओ,
पुरानी डायरी में लिखी हुई वो तारीख वापिस लाओ,
हँसते खेलते बीती हुई वो शाम वापिस लाओ,
छोटी छोटी बातों पे मिले वो इनाम वापिस लाओ!

और गोते लगाके ले आओ गुज़रा वक़्त,
क़ाश हम बंद करें घड़ी और थम जाए वो वक़्त,
जिस याद में हो हम गुम, ले जाए वहीँ वो वक़्त,
जब तक मन ना भर जाए, रुक जाए ज़रा सा वक़्त!

लम्बे लम्बे सालों से बस कुछ पल वापिस चाहते हैं,
हमेशा के लिए ना सही, तो उधार ही चाहते हैं,
हम कौनसा वक़्त अपने साथ ले जाना चाहते हैं,
बस उन खुशियों का एहसास दोबारा चाहते हैं!

(Can't stop being in awe about the speed of passage of time)

यादों का खज़ाना..!!

वक़्त तो बस गुज़रता जाता है,

हम समझ ही नहीं पाते कहाँ गया!

पंछी की तरह उड़ जाता है,

हम खोजते रह जाते धरती की गलियों में!

बीती बातों को बीते ज़माने बीत गए,

हम क़ैद रह गए ना जाने किन पलों में!

जब भी यादों की गठरी खोलें,

खज़ाना सा बिख़र जाता है मन के मंच पे!

प्यारी प्यारी उन बातों को बीते ज़माना गुज़र गया?

छोटी छोटी उन रातों को रूठे ज़माना गुज़र गया!!

आईना जब देखते हैं तब एहसास होता है उम्र का,

मन तो शायद बचपन की गलियों में ही रह गया!

वो लुका-छुपी पकड़ा-पकड़ी के खेल जो खेलते थे हम,

खेलने वाले वो दोस्त के बजाय, या तो वक़्त था या मन!

दिन ना जाने कैसे ज़माने हो गए,

और दोस्त भी दुनिया की भीड़ में खो गए! 

ना जाने क्या जादू चलाया ज़िन्दगी ने हम पे,

हम ज़िद्दी बच्चे से बड़े समझदार हो गए!

वो माँ का आँचल, वो पापा की गोदी,

वो शादी का मंडप, और पहली खुश-खबरी,

अरे! कैसे भाग चला गया वक़्त?

अब तो हमारी गुड़िया भी बड़ी हो गयी!

ऐसे ही ज़िन्दगी बीत जायेगी फ़िसलती रेत की तरह,

और हम सोचते ही रह जाएंगे कि वक़्त गया तो कहाँ गया!!

(Fascinated by the speed of time)

Just Once.. Again!!

I look at my little baby, and want to be a baby again
I want to go back to the beautiful days of childhood again
I want to grow up just like the way I did, once again
I want to feel all the feelings I overlooked, yet again

I want to experience, how it was to enter the world
And even before that, when I floated in liquid gold
Could I really hear when my mother sang to me?
How did I react when she spoke to me?

I want to see how the world feels for the first time
I want to know how it felt to feed for the first time
The first touch of my father and grandparents
The first time when I recognize my parents

I really want to feel the first taste of solid food
And would I just reject it or find it perfectly good?
I want to go back to the first day of my school
Cry while leaving from home and then later be cool?

My first fancy dress competition, as a buttermilk vendor
The first time of piercing my ears, Oh! So tender!!
The first time ever when I took a test
The first time I felt that I was the best

I want to hear the elders say childhood is the best
And believe them this time and let my questions rest
I want to go again for the first trip of my life
And not care about being a mother or wife

The first school picnic in a garden near our own school
Was so much more exciting than a 5-star's infinity pool
A lunchbox given by mom with a chocolate for surprise
Participate in parents day and win my first prize!

That carefree sleep for long hours anywhere and anytime
Those restrictions like studying to earn TV time
I want to argue with my parents and again pick a fight
Despite knowing what they say, for me, is always right

I want to kiss my grandpa again and give him a tight hug
Once more before death snatches him like a thug
I want to believe again that the dead become stars
I want to live that life where only bodies get scars

When games that we played made us healthy
When friends were just friends, not poor or wealthy
When our fights were for toys and cardboard swords
And our weapons were not rude and hurtful words

I want to live that life of innocence once again
I want to radiate unconditional love yet again
I want that infinite happiness without a bargain
Gosh! I just want to live my childhood again!!

Little Birdie & Golden Cage!

"Just one leap I need. A leap of freedom",
Said the little bird, with all her wisdom

Wisdom that had gone down the drains
When she fell for the cage, ditching her brains

The cage that was made of gold and pearls
It was the secret desire of a dozen girls

Girls that were pretty and wanted to play
Thought that the cage was from dough of clay

Clay that can easily be molded with their fingers and wrist
"A cage is a cage, even if it's golden", was it a quest?

A quest that was hard to unveil and demystify?
Had they thought the world was easy to defy?

World that has so much hypocrisy and rage
That's exactly what was lying in the cage

The cage that shined and attracted the bird
Little did she know, she'll never get to say a word

Words of excitement which chirpily she sang
Disappeared into air, poisoned by the fang

Fangs of the snake that hid beyond the glitter
Poisoned the bird's life and made it bitter

Bitterness, with her personality, had now intertwined
It had become a part of her heart, brain and mind

Mind that was once an epitome of cheerfulness
Had now become a house of boredom and dullness

Dullness that had encroached the bird's shiny face
Happiness had vanished, without even a trace

Trace, wish she could, even a little of her wisdom
While hoping from the cage, her "leap of freedom!"

Generations Apart...

This post is based on certain discussions that I have recently had with friends of my age regarding how things aren't the same with parents as they were during our childhood.

We all love our parents. And as much as we would like to believe that love is blind, we cannot deny that love isn't deaf and dumb. There are times when we hear them say things which don't fit in our logical minds. We have a completely different opinion on those topics. Sometimes we end up arguing with them but it does't help. The arguments either leave a bitterness in our hearts for some time, or just fall on deaf ears. Sometimes we even get to hear things like "you are too grown up to listen to your parents". Such statements further increase our anguish and we feel worse about these differences we have in our opinions.

Let us take a trip through our growing years and make an analysis. Why is it that we think so different from what they do when they are the ones who brought us up. Aren't we supposed to be a reflection of what our parents are? Isn't reproduction all about creating your own self, again? Let's see...

As kids we hear and understand what our parents say. We learn what they teach us. And that's it. That's truth for us. We do not know whether it's correct or not. And we don't feel the need to know. That's because our mind never challenges it. As we start growing up and meeting more people, we come across different thoughts and different beliefs. Simultaneously our logic starts developing. We start developing the power of reasoning. We start attaining capability to analyze what suits us. We start deciding whether we fit in one system or the other. We start creating our own systems as well. We get exposed to the world and our perceptions change.

Meanwhile, our parents are still living life in a similar way as they were. Of course change is inevitable. But the changes in their lives are usually not as drastic as those in ours. That's simply because they are grownup enough and we are still growing. Life was different while growing up in their times. And after an era, while we are growing, times are totally different. And so are our lives and the way we perceive it. 

It is no rocket science to decipher that such differences are natural amidst generations. But yet we fail to understand them. We fail to accept them.  Because they don't help us hear what our logical minds want to hear. We might even feel guilty about thinking against the thoughts of our creators. After all we do realize that we are what we are because they let us make our lives our way. And how do we overcome this discomfort caused due to the guilt? How do we cope up with those olden illogical theories? How do we bridge the gap and break the wall?

The simplest way is to understand that love and logic don't go along well. Yes. Give it another thought if you need to. Love defies logic and logic doesn't always support love. So the first thing you need to do is separate your logic from the love you have for the elderly. Now that you love them in their absolute state, let's put that important logical thinking to some good use.

Your beliefs are quite strong, aren't they? Now imagine how strong must be their belief system given that they have seen life almost twice as much as you have. When you are so sure about the correctness of your beliefs at this age, they are obviously double sure at their age. You may be ready to change your beliefs given that supporting logic convinces you. But it might not be the same with them. And that's ok. Yes, it is. 

Resistance to change increases with age. Look at yourself now and compare how flexible your mind is as compared to when you were a kid. I'm sure you can see your comfort zone has shrunk over years. Today you might be ready to relocate to another continent if you get a good opportunity but your parents might not even budge at the prospects of a much better life in the neighboring city. So what? That's probably how their life has made them. And probably they didn't have as much choice to mould their lives their ways as you do. You'd never know!

The point is that we need to stop expecting them to change. We need to understand that no matter how necessary change is, it can't be denied that we are resistant to it. And their resistance is naturally going to be stronger than ours. Most of our "problems" with older generations will be solved if we stop linking them with logics and reasoning and just accept them as they are. After all, life is too short and differences will only increase the distance of travel.

[Additional related reads from my blog: Love Defies Logic... ]

Lifeless Existence!

I have learned to hide my tears,

And how to lie about my fears,

I have learned to cry alone,

Walk, eat and stay alone!

I have learned to bear pain,

Even if there's little to gain,

I have learned to be strong,

Even if i know it's wrong!

I have learned to kill things,

Like inner voice and feelings,

I have learned to make peace,

With life that has no peace!

I have learned to gain pace,

In this meaningless rat race,

I have learned to keep mum,

To be stone-cold and numb!

I have learned to laugh out loud,
Of course it's fake, but i'm proud,
I have learned to sing a chanty,
With a heart - hollow and empty!

I have learned to bury my head,

In this crowd that's widespread,

I have learned to live my life,

Without even feeling alive!

Back in the box...

The Blabber:

Hello there! It has been really really really long having posted something here, 17-18 months to be precise. And I could have been "doubly productive" in that long a time. Anyways, I intend to compensate my absence with a lot of posts hence-forth. But it'll first start with a lot of blabbering and then move ahead to the actual post. So if you want to cut my blabber, please scroll down directly to "The Post".

Alright, now that you choose to read my blabber, be warned, it's A LOT. 

First things first, let me take off my guilt-coat for not having written in a long long time. Well, I could have had a lot of excuses to list as reasons. But honestly, I was just to lazy and caught up in real life. I barely got time to jot it down. I must have written thousand of posts in my head, but unfortunately, they couldn't make it to this spot. But the good news is, I intend to be regular at writing again.

Also, I have never made new year resolutions for the last so many years that I remember. But this time I did. They aren't really the kind that come and go. These are more practical ones. Things that I have been meaning to accomplish since a while. And one of those resolutions is to write regularly.

Honestly, I have been really missing my blog. And every time I happen to be in a situation that's blog-worthy, I sort of make a mental note to post about it. So, we can hope for a lot to come because while I was away, I have been giving a lot of advises and relationship gyaan to my friends. And usually that is the stuff that makes it to this page in a different avatar. 

Anyways, enough of promises of intent. Let's come to the point. I really haven't planned how I am going to write this post but I am sure what it is about. So this is about a promise I made to a dear friend about 3 years ago. And when I decided to start writing again, I wanted to start with fulfilling the long pending promise. I guess he must have even forgotten about this request of his to write on this topic. But I am a lady of my word.

Just a brief background, and some planned coincidence-
My friend has a blog called "Blabber", where his first blog is "Back in the Box" which revolves around a lamp post. And that explains "The Post" below. I am going to quote certain pieces from there because this is in reply to a request.

The Post:

Woke up to a message from a friend (Early during Feb 2011) which said : 

Was drunken awake @ 4. Watching dutiful ol’ lamp-post, lone in the starlight. Later to ask myself, “Why is it that we try to make sense of everything we bump across?” Thought of writing it maself, then the wise little birdie wispered in its soft tone, “Plead it to the experts”

I had to read it again to make sense of it, not just because I had just woken up, but also because there was a lot in the short message. Most importantly, I couldn't believe it came from him. He was usually the victim of all my lectures and pranks. But more than that he was a fan of my writing. Hence, the request. 

I called him up to check what he exactly meant by that. He said that he meant it doesn't make sense to find sense in everything. Like a lamp post on the road has got no meaning. It is just there because it should be. Just because it would be dark without it. There is nothing else about it. I wondered if he was thinking too much. But  before I could think much, he again asked me to write about it. 

So, the request was written as well as verbal as well as in senselessness as well as in senses. Although I really didn't know what to write, I still made a promise that I would. It got more serious when he mentioned about it in his first blog like:

Wrote a senseless message to a friend, Was drunken awake @ 4. Watching dutiful ol’ lamp-post, lone in the starlight. Later to ask myself, “Why is it that we try to make sense of everything we bump across?” Thought of writing it maself, then the wise little birdie wispered in its soft tone, “Plead it to the experts” (She promises me that I can see this in one of her blogs, I’m waiting…).

And now the request was public. But I knew one thing, no matter when I write about it and what I write about it, it will always be in contrast to this belief. So here I go...

I am a strong believer of "everything has a meaning". I also believe that "everything happens for a reason". Yes, and that's the reason I believe that everything has a deeper meaning than we can see superficially. Of course we can't know each and every aspect of everything that we see. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Like in the case of a lamp-post, although it is there to provide us the much needed light, it could have been carrying so many more stories. Most probably the stories got created because the post already exists there, but we would never know if the post was there because those things were meant to happen! Lets say for example, 

• A sad group of friends was meant to cheer up, so the lamp-post was exactly where one of them would turn around and bump into it
• An insecure girlfriend was meant to be assured when the lamp-post was exactly where her boyfriend promised to her to stand by her like the same lamp-post
• An old man was meant to be safe when he held the lamp-post on feeling weak
• And, there could be so much more......

This world is not just an accident. It has been planned very carefully. If you think about it, you'll agree with me. There is a reason behind every small thing. The pettiest and most meaningless things could hold logic beyond our philosophical capacities. One need not be able to understand things as and when they happen. Most of the times, they affect your lives later enough to even remember. 

I am sure all of us meet a lot of people. We do not get along with everybody, and most of the friendships don't even last forever. We also get into wrong relationships and suffer heartbreaks and headaches. But then, when we meet the right people, we really understand their value because of the wrong ones.. because we know how much better they are and how much worse people can be. We also evolve with every incident that happens in our life. Each person is a catalyst in our life. Whatever we are today is because of the smallest of things that we did yesterday. And this will continue for ever. 

I wouldn't want to miss mentioning the movie "Sucker Punch" symbolizes the Symbolic nature of life very well. The things that we categorize insignificant could symbolize a big deal. That is the way life gives you hints and warnings. But yeah, although symbolization is something that can connect with this topic, I feel like saving it for later. May be a blog-overdose could carry deeper effects.

Who had thought that a stupid message from a drunk guy at 4 a.m. could create so many things? That message started his blog. It made me come back to my blog earlier than I would have otherwise. It made me reuse my old laptop which was literally buried under a heap of other useless things. And it will soon make my friend realize, I do keep promises.

So Yash, this is for you buddy! Cheers!!

अधूरापन...!!!

आज इन आँखों में कुछ नमी सी है 

आज फ़िर महसूस हुई कुछ कमी सी है

तुम बिन दिल की धड़कन कुछ थमी सी है

इस दर्द को मिटा पाना कठिन सा है

इस मन को समझा पाना कठिन सा है

अपने प्रेम को छुपा पाना कठिन सा है

क्यूँ बिछड़ने के लिए मिलते है हम?

क्यूँ हमेशा साथ नहीं होते है हम?

क्यूँ मिलकर बिछड़ ही जाते है हम?

एक दीया जलाया था मन में विश्वास लिए 

हम साथ रहेंगे इस बात की एक आस लिए 

तुम पास रहो तो जलाते रहेंगे रोज़ दीये 

तुम बिन मन की सारी बातें अधूरी है 

तुम बिन खुशियाँ और ख्वाहिशें अधूरी है 

तुम बिन मेरी ये कविता भी तो अधूरी ही है...!!!

To my best man!

I am getting married in a week,

I know that makes you go weak,

You happened to be the first man in my life,

And now I’m going to be someone else’s wife,

Not that it’ll change the facts about you and me,

But still, quite different, everything will be!

All that happiness portrayed by your smile,

And then those sudden rushes of your bile,

It is obvious how you struggle with yourself,

To accept that I’ll be a trophy of another’s shelf!

You will remain special, just like you’ve always been,

I will always love you, and this, I really really mean!

I will never forget the special moments we shared,

When we showed each other how much we cared,

When we fought bitterly over what’s wrong and right,

And then to sort it out, we hugged each other tight!

Remember how I hugged you and slept like a little one?

Did you then figure out, I’ll be taken away by someone?

Remember how you’d compliment me when I’d cook?

I used to browse for hours together, that recipe book!

When I left the town to study further, I knew you were upset,

But then you understood, it was for a good career’s onset,

Months after months, I kept staying away from you,

And then at times I rushed back- just to be with you,

But whenever came the time to go away again,

Only your eyes showed the separation’s pain!

Your have never been able to speak about your feelings clearly,

But your actions have always conveyed that you love me dearly!

I still remember the look on your face when I got engaged,

I saw the complexity of the smile you had managed,

Down through your cheeks when came those tears,

They clearly expressed all your emotions and fears!

The ceremonies of my wedding, when you will witness,

I can very well imagine the level of your stress,

And when you will put my hand in his hand,

With a trembling body, you’ll manage to stand!

And I still wouldn’t know whether to be happy or sad,

This rush of mixed emotions has made me totally mad!

Sometimes when I look at your face, my mind gets bare,

It questions me, about you, how much did I care?

One moment I feel that I completely understand you,

Another moment I don’t know if I even know you!

Just like you, I’m not good with expressing too,

But I love you a lot, and you know it, don’t you?

The thought of being away from you brings me tears in a moment,

If imagination is so horrifying, reality will be one hell of a torment!

May be we were meant to be away from each other,

But our love is pure and strong, please don’t bother,

I know you feel you won’t have rights on me after I’m wedded,

But trust me- our rights on each other are forever embedded!

The greatest of poets would fail to describe our affinity,

To share our sweetest memories, we will need eternity!

Our relationship is always going to be the most special one,

Nobody can ever replace you in my heart, absolutely no one!

It doesn’t matter that I’ll be called “his wife”,

You will always be the best man of my life!!

We aren’t the only couple, who’ll face this separation- hardship,

This misfortune is a part of every father-daughter relationship,

But when hearts are near, these distances won’t matter,

Our love is the strongest, it will never ever shatter!

Being A Spinster!!!

I lean over the window-pane,
And glance along the below lane,
I take a small sip from my glass of wine,
And silently wish someone was mine!


When I had the time to choose a mate,
I never bothered and left it to my fate,
Every man that came my way,
I always ensured he moved away.


Not that I had never felt the same,
But I thought being in love was lame,
I wish I had never imposed this ban,
Without an exception, on every man!


Now I wish I had someone all mine,
Who could share with me, this glass of wine!
Even if he were away, several hundred miles,
He would at least call me, giving me smiles!


As I see the clouds getting ready to rain,
I wish I had someone to share my pain,
Someone with whom in these rains I'd drench,
And on turning cold, his fist I'd clench!


I see the old couple in the neighborhood,
They seem together forever, since childhood,
Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a companion?
Who'd ride the bike of life, with you as a pillion!


The young couple is dancing in the rainy street,
And they seem to be enjoying it, like a great treat,
While I think I'm going to be alone every night,
I hold my wine glass, all the more tight!


I wish I gave a thought when the world said,
Staying alone could feel like life is unpaid,
I wish I took things in the right sense then,
When I had a space in the hearts of many men!


But I chose to take the road that was less taken,
Why didn't at the right time, my mind awaken?
Who's going to accept me now with these wrinkles and sags?
Apart from this bottle of wine and a few fags?


Wish I realized how important it was to have someone,
To wait for him to come home, to be his loved one!
When I hear the young lady upstairs moan,
With all my senses, I deeply mourn!


Who will forever take care of my needs?
Who will gift me necklace of metal and beads?
Will I always have to let my thoughts remain unspoken?
The glass accidentally slips from my hand, it is broken!


The fall of the glass, makes me utter a scream,
Oh! I was sleeping, and this was just a dream.
It is time hurry up and get ready for my new date,
And I know my nightmare is not going to be my fate.

Perfectly Imperfect!!!

I have been a perfectionist all my life,
And dreamt of creating a perfect life,
I have always wanted everything just right,
And wanted to avoid otherwise, that might!

Dreaming of perfection is not at all a bad thing,
What's wrong if you can cook, dance and sing?
Things should either be perfect or simply absent,
This is the attitude that took my brains on rent!

I dreamt of perfect happiness and perfect smiles,
I dreamt of perfect people spread across the miles,
I dreamt of perfection spreading like forest fires,
I dreamt of happiness for all, which never ever retires!

And, whenever I woke up to reality's claps,
I felt my dreams had set for me - these traps,
Then I tried to analyze the authentic situation,
I tried to decipher the subsistence of perfection!

And I realized perfection is just hallucination,
More like a ghost, it's just this mind's illusion!
Perfection doesn't exist, it's simply impossible,
Imperfection is much more honest and plausible!

Life comes full circle, but that circle isn't perfect!
The prospect of a perfect world, itself is imperfect!
That's why life has its own imperfect way,
Around Perfection, it doesn't at all sway!

Only in dreams, is life a pathway of rose-petals,
The reality also consists of thorns and metals,
I'm contented I'm not perfect; at least I'm genuine,
In my own world of imperfections, I'm the queen!

I feel Perfection is simply for intuitive adoring,
Perfection in reality could be truly madly boring,
In being imperfect, I guess, lies all the fun,
I'm so glad I'm a Perfectly Imperfect One!!!

My Fallen Angel !!!

When you had fallen from the Heavens up there,

I certainly knew God had sent you for me here,

I rushed towards you to check if you were hurt,

But you sparkled, without even a speck of dirt!

When life seemed dark, your smile shone bright,

Even with those lost hopes, everything felt right,

I loved you so much, you were always on my mind,

It wouldn't be amiss to say your love made me blind.

You were shy, and I knew it was an angelic feature,

I admired you, Oh so much! My Heavenly Creature!!

You were my cute Angel, Fallen for me on this earth,

Only for me, Oh Cutie! You were granted this Birth!!

You brought me good luck, my only lucky charm,

I would keep you precious, never allow any harm.

I would save you from the witches' enchantment,

And keep you aloof from the bitches' entrapment!

If you were just a dream, I wanted it to end never,

And for that my love, I was ready to sleep forever,

Nightmares of losing you, made me find a way,

That would keep us together forever, my way!

I knew if you ever walked off leaving me deserted,

You'd come back to me sooner, my heart asserted,

For our love, with this world we could have fought,

Would it really happen or so I merely thought?

I would hold you so strong, never let you fall,

That descend from the Heavens, would be all.

But fallen you had once, and fell you again,

That one was a pleasure, and this one - pain.

I thought life was complete and love graven,

The day, for me, you had fallen from Heaven,

But to all my love, bringing shame and disgrace,

You, my beloved Angel, have fallen from grace!

I wouldn't loathe your presence, but continue your addiction,

Only if you hadn't lost your respect yourself in my conviction,

I'm glad you were just a charming dream that forever didn't last,

Not my mind's entirety, you deserve just a modest corner in my past!

A non-mysterious Murder...

He was a cool guy. Tall, dark and average looking. Not that he had many friends or that he was too popular or a ladies' man, but he had a few friends which were very close to him and he meant a lot to them. In short, he wasn't a socialite as such but wasn't a loner either. He had a respectable social stature. A very intellectual person. Excelled in most things he ventured into. Had vast knowledge, could be spoken with regarding any topic under the sun. Quite a fun loving person. A dependable confidante for most of his friends. He also had an excellent sense of humor. Quick-witted, sarcastic humor. He knew exactly what needs to be said to whom in what kind of situation. He was an exceptionally caring person for his friends and family. Very very closely attached with his family. An extremely affectionate person. A lover of good food. A true appreciator of all forms of art. Endeared by all his friends. Respected by them. He was looked up to by his friends and family when they needed any help, practically and emotionally. He had the capability to be objective and analyze situations in that light. He was a sensible and a sensitive person. He wasn't too brave or daring but at least loved the ideas of adventures. He never had the best of anything but knew how to make the most of whatever he had. And he was satisfied with his life. He believed he didn't have any problems with his life and was quite happy with his life on a whole. A dog-lover. Quite amusingly gifted to note details of things. He also had the gift of gab. Loved to gossip. Had the capability to make one feel comfortable and valued in his presence. He always voiced against the wrong and stood by it till the end. He fought for others. Down-to-earth. Enviably happy and content with his life. He was a man with self-respect. In one word, he was Awesome.

And then, he let a girl enter in to his life.

All the awesomeness walked out of his life. His obvious problem was Choice. He made the wrong choice. He let the wrong girl enter his life. Now he's treated much worse than one would ever treat a dog. He never gathered the courage to object her when she was wrong. He can’t fight even for himself. And she never realized it on her own. Now he has friends, but no freedom to be with them. He is too tied up fulfilling her whims and fancies. No more attached to his family. Has lost the appetite for happiness, probably even forgotten what happiness and contentment feel like. Hasn't had fun in ages and forgotten what smile and laughter are. Humor? Not in touch with that either. Now, there's only one word for his condition: Awful. Friends can’t help but pity his life. She is the murderer. But it was no back-stabbing. He chose it for himself. She murdered his awesomeness, and he let her.

True Story.

Eternal Retrospection!

I look into the mirror with my lips smiling

And I'm quite aware my mind has qualms piling

I move closer and peep into my own eyes

And suddenly my dazzling smile dies

Is my life as perfect as I had premeditated?

Or has it, on a wrong path, widely deviated?

Now my lips neither smile nor frown

And in this important thought, I drown

Did I move on to fulfilling dreams I had treasured?

Or by my own wrong choices, was I pressured?

I know that it isn't exactly as I had always wanted,

But with every wrong thing, it isn't even haunted!

Nothing is wrong, yet nothing is right!

In nothingness, with this world I fight!!

Is the delicate drape of my fancies torn

Because every rose comes with a thorn?

Are my desires too much to gain

That it takes bearing so much pain?

No, I'm not a coward; pain I don't fear!

But so much on my mind is still unclear!!

Is it the world that's really so rough?

Or is it my mind just playing tough?

I have seen everything has always had a reason,

Why do I still feel there's surely some treason?

Why can't I decide if it’s all good or very bad?

I don't even know whether I'm joyful or sad!

Nothing is wrong, yet nothing is right!

In nothingness, with Myself I fight!!

Everything Passes By!

 

The long summer days when you drench in sweat,

The pouring rainy evenings that make you all wet!

The cold nights that make you shiver,

The chills that make you quiver!

The stress at work that makes you mad,

The failures that make you feel bad!

The success that makes you brightly shine,

The bottles of champagne & glasses of wine!

The moments of anger, disgust and pain,

The times when you feel like all is in vain!

The tears you shed when reality bites,

The joy you feel on flying kites!

The speed of a super-fast life,

The sharpness of a brand-new knife!

The brightness of a shining light,

The glories of a brave Knight!

The smiles, laughter and little joys,

The innocence of those young boys!

The pride and joy of having power,

The sweetness of a fresh flower!

The strength of those tall pillars,

The ugly phase of caterpillars!

The carefree days of your childhood,

The taste of your favorite food!

The excitement of that first date,

The curiosity to know your fate!

The subtle pain of your wisdom tooth,

The long queue outside a telephone booth! 

The charm of that attractive smile,

The energy to run that extra mile!

The smell of your freshly painted house,

The adjustments with your new spouse!

The love for your new car,

The pain of a fresh scar!

The time when you badly miss your best friend,

The time when you wish that the hardships end!

The value of every breath,

And finally the fear of Death!!!

[Composed on 19.10.2010 and 20.10.2010]

Bleeding foot-prints in the memory…

I and my friends discuss quite often about how it gets so difficult to overcome emotional wounds, how it seems so impossible to forget your past relationships even when you have moved-on after the break-up, how you keep remembering those hurting words no matter how much you want to forget them, how long-lost thoughts of some bad incidents keep refreshing in your memory out of nowhere. Why is it that even when you want to stop yourself from thinking about something, its thoughts hunt you down and haunt your memory successfully? Why do we always fail to completely eliminate the troubling elements from our minds?? Are we really that weak???

I came up with a simple logic which turned out to be a convincing solution of this mystery. Probably because we touch our computer-keyboards much more than the human-touch in our lives, we tend to understand the functioning of the former better than the latter. And hence we take it granted for our memory to function the way the computer does. Anyways, so my logic says that the reason to this inability of human beings to forget unwanted things completely is:

“We are human beings and not computers. And there is no ‘Shift+Delete’ in humans!!”

[P.S.: For those who don’t know what ‘Shift+Delete’ is, I have a solution for you too:

Open the C drive of your computer, then press ‘Ctrl’ and ‘A’ simultaneously, after that press ‘Shift’ and ‘Delete’ simultaneously, and then finally press ‘Enter’]

Changing Colours!

People change as seasons do,

Priorities and relationships too!

Sometimes green and sometimes blue,

How? Why? When? – You can never have a clue!

Buddies of good times forget each other,

Nobody even finds any time to bother

Out of sight becomes out of mind,

Every promise and memory is left behind.

An acquaintance becomes better than a friend,

A casual conversation seems to never end,

Whereas with an old friend you may sit silent,

Even this silence can hurt as if it is violent.

Relations of blood change their colours,

Most ships are sunk by their own sailors.

Each and every smile turns into a frown,

When own brothers fight for the crown!

Changed are all feelings and emotions,

And so are changed the love relations.

Greatest of lovers turn into strangers,

‘Red of love’ turns into ‘red of dangers’.

People change as seasons do,

Relationships- when reasons do!

There are hardly any controls in your range,

Not the world, only yourself you can change!

[Composed by Me (“Nidhi Bagdia”) on 31^st December, 2008 (31.12.2008) ]