ज़रा सा वक़्त!

छोटे छोटे खिलौनों के लिए ज़िद करते थे ,
आज खुद ले सकते हैं पर चाह बदल गयी,
अब तो मन चाहता है कि यादों के समंदर में गोता लगाओ,
और ढूँढके सारे ख़ज़ाने वापिस लाओ!

जिनसे हक़ से लड़ते थे वो इंसान वापिस लाओ,
पुरानी डायरी में लिखी हुई वो तारीख वापिस लाओ,
हँसते खेलते बीती हुई वो शाम वापिस लाओ,
छोटी छोटी बातों पे मिले वो इनाम वापिस लाओ!

और गोते लगाके ले आओ गुज़रा वक़्त,
क़ाश हम बंद करें घड़ी और थम जाए वो वक़्त,
जिस याद में हो हम गुम, ले जाए वहीँ वो वक़्त,
जब तक मन ना भर जाए, रुक जाए ज़रा सा वक़्त!

लम्बे लम्बे सालों से बस कुछ पल वापिस चाहते हैं,
हमेशा के लिए ना सही, तो उधार ही चाहते हैं,
हम कौनसा वक़्त अपने साथ ले जाना चाहते हैं,
बस उन खुशियों का एहसास दोबारा चाहते हैं!

(Can't stop being in awe about the speed of passage of time)

यादों का खज़ाना..!!

वक़्त तो बस गुज़रता जाता है,

हम समझ ही नहीं पाते कहाँ गया!

पंछी की तरह उड़ जाता है,

हम खोजते रह जाते धरती की गलियों में!

बीती बातों को बीते ज़माने बीत गए,

हम क़ैद रह गए ना जाने किन पलों में!

जब भी यादों की गठरी खोलें,

खज़ाना सा बिख़र जाता है मन के मंच पे!

प्यारी प्यारी उन बातों को बीते ज़माना गुज़र गया?

छोटी छोटी उन रातों को रूठे ज़माना गुज़र गया!!

आईना जब देखते हैं तब एहसास होता है उम्र का,

मन तो शायद बचपन की गलियों में ही रह गया!

वो लुका-छुपी पकड़ा-पकड़ी के खेल जो खेलते थे हम,

खेलने वाले वो दोस्त के बजाय, या तो वक़्त था या मन!

दिन ना जाने कैसे ज़माने हो गए,

और दोस्त भी दुनिया की भीड़ में खो गए! 

ना जाने क्या जादू चलाया ज़िन्दगी ने हम पे,

हम ज़िद्दी बच्चे से बड़े समझदार हो गए!

वो माँ का आँचल, वो पापा की गोदी,

वो शादी का मंडप, और पहली खुश-खबरी,

अरे! कैसे भाग चला गया वक़्त?

अब तो हमारी गुड़िया भी बड़ी हो गयी!

ऐसे ही ज़िन्दगी बीत जायेगी फ़िसलती रेत की तरह,

और हम सोचते ही रह जाएंगे कि वक़्त गया तो कहाँ गया!!

(Fascinated by the speed of time)

Just Once.. Again!!

I look at my little baby, and want to be a baby again
I want to go back to the beautiful days of childhood again
I want to grow up just like the way I did, once again
I want to feel all the feelings I overlooked, yet again

I want to experience, how it was to enter the world
And even before that, when I floated in liquid gold
Could I really hear when my mother sang to me?
How did I react when she spoke to me?

I want to see how the world feels for the first time
I want to know how it felt to feed for the first time
The first touch of my father and grandparents
The first time when I recognize my parents

I really want to feel the first taste of solid food
And would I just reject it or find it perfectly good?
I want to go back to the first day of my school
Cry while leaving from home and then later be cool?

My first fancy dress competition, as a buttermilk vendor
The first time of piercing my ears, Oh! So tender!!
The first time ever when I took a test
The first time I felt that I was the best

I want to hear the elders say childhood is the best
And believe them this time and let my questions rest
I want to go again for the first trip of my life
And not care about being a mother or wife

The first school picnic in a garden near our own school
Was so much more exciting than a 5-star's infinity pool
A lunchbox given by mom with a chocolate for surprise
Participate in parents day and win my first prize!

That carefree sleep for long hours anywhere and anytime
Those restrictions like studying to earn TV time
I want to argue with my parents and again pick a fight
Despite knowing what they say, for me, is always right

I want to kiss my grandpa again and give him a tight hug
Once more before death snatches him like a thug
I want to believe again that the dead become stars
I want to live that life where only bodies get scars

When games that we played made us healthy
When friends were just friends, not poor or wealthy
When our fights were for toys and cardboard swords
And our weapons were not rude and hurtful words

I want to live that life of innocence once again
I want to radiate unconditional love yet again
I want that infinite happiness without a bargain
Gosh! I just want to live my childhood again!!

Little Birdie & Golden Cage!

"Just one leap I need. A leap of freedom",
Said the little bird, with all her wisdom

Wisdom that had gone down the drains
When she fell for the cage, ditching her brains

The cage that was made of gold and pearls
It was the secret desire of a dozen girls

Girls that were pretty and wanted to play
Thought that the cage was from dough of clay

Clay that can easily be molded with their fingers and wrist
"A cage is a cage, even if it's golden", was it a quest?

A quest that was hard to unveil and demystify?
Had they thought the world was easy to defy?

World that has so much hypocrisy and rage
That's exactly what was lying in the cage

The cage that shined and attracted the bird
Little did she know, she'll never get to say a word

Words of excitement which chirpily she sang
Disappeared into air, poisoned by the fang

Fangs of the snake that hid beyond the glitter
Poisoned the bird's life and made it bitter

Bitterness, with her personality, had now intertwined
It had become a part of her heart, brain and mind

Mind that was once an epitome of cheerfulness
Had now become a house of boredom and dullness

Dullness that had encroached the bird's shiny face
Happiness had vanished, without even a trace

Trace, wish she could, even a little of her wisdom
While hoping from the cage, her "leap of freedom!"

वो मकान... !!!

वो मकान जिसे हम घर केहते हैं,

कोने मे खडा हमारा इंतज़ार कर रहा है,

ऐसा हम सोचते हैं.… 

पर इंतज़ार तो हम कर रहे है,

घर में जाने का, मुस्कुराने का,

कुछ पल ख़ुशी से जीने का… 

देखा है दुनिया की भीड़ में सुकून नहीं मिलता,

अपने आप संग बिताने को वक़्त नहीं मिलता,

इसीलिए घर जैसा दुनिया में कोई आसरा नहीं मिलता… 

एक सौ बीस साल पुराना वो मकान,

जिसकी छत बारिशों में टपकती है,

उन टपकती हुई बूंदों से ही तो खुशियाँ छलकती है…

और आँगन की मिट्टी जब हवा से उड़ती है,

धूल बनके सारे घर में फैलती है,

सुकून की एक चादर जैसे उस धूल से बिछती है… 

वो फर्श जिसपे गर्मियों में भी ठंडक मिलती है,

लगता है हमारे मन को वो भी खूब समझती है,

धरती पर यही ज़मीन है जो हमें सबसे ज्यादा अपनाती है… 

दीवारों के रंग जो फीके पड़ चुके है,

उन रंगों में आज भी हमारा बचपन चमकता है,

जैसे बीता हुआ कल इन दीवारों में बसा हो… 

वो खुशबू जो घर में हमेशा होती है,

न जाने वो हवा की है या जादू की,

बस वही खुशबू  है खुशियों की,

वही खुशबू है सुकून की…!!!

To my best man!

I am getting married in a week,

I know that makes you go weak,

You happened to be the first man in my life,

And now I’m going to be someone else’s wife,

Not that it’ll change the facts about you and me,

But still, quite different, everything will be!

All that happiness portrayed by your smile,

And then those sudden rushes of your bile,

It is obvious how you struggle with yourself,

To accept that I’ll be a trophy of another’s shelf!

You will remain special, just like you’ve always been,

I will always love you, and this, I really really mean!

I will never forget the special moments we shared,

When we showed each other how much we cared,

When we fought bitterly over what’s wrong and right,

And then to sort it out, we hugged each other tight!

Remember how I hugged you and slept like a little one?

Did you then figure out, I’ll be taken away by someone?

Remember how you’d compliment me when I’d cook?

I used to browse for hours together, that recipe book!

When I left the town to study further, I knew you were upset,

But then you understood, it was for a good career’s onset,

Months after months, I kept staying away from you,

And then at times I rushed back- just to be with you,

But whenever came the time to go away again,

Only your eyes showed the separation’s pain!

Your have never been able to speak about your feelings clearly,

But your actions have always conveyed that you love me dearly!

I still remember the look on your face when I got engaged,

I saw the complexity of the smile you had managed,

Down through your cheeks when came those tears,

They clearly expressed all your emotions and fears!

The ceremonies of my wedding, when you will witness,

I can very well imagine the level of your stress,

And when you will put my hand in his hand,

With a trembling body, you’ll manage to stand!

And I still wouldn’t know whether to be happy or sad,

This rush of mixed emotions has made me totally mad!

Sometimes when I look at your face, my mind gets bare,

It questions me, about you, how much did I care?

One moment I feel that I completely understand you,

Another moment I don’t know if I even know you!

Just like you, I’m not good with expressing too,

But I love you a lot, and you know it, don’t you?

The thought of being away from you brings me tears in a moment,

If imagination is so horrifying, reality will be one hell of a torment!

May be we were meant to be away from each other,

But our love is pure and strong, please don’t bother,

I know you feel you won’t have rights on me after I’m wedded,

But trust me- our rights on each other are forever embedded!

The greatest of poets would fail to describe our affinity,

To share our sweetest memories, we will need eternity!

Our relationship is always going to be the most special one,

Nobody can ever replace you in my heart, absolutely no one!

It doesn’t matter that I’ll be called “his wife”,

You will always be the best man of my life!!

We aren’t the only couple, who’ll face this separation- hardship,

This misfortune is a part of every father-daughter relationship,

But when hearts are near, these distances won’t matter,

Our love is the strongest, it will never ever shatter!

Perfectly Imperfect!!!

I have been a perfectionist all my life,
And dreamt of creating a perfect life,
I have always wanted everything just right,
And wanted to avoid otherwise, that might!

Dreaming of perfection is not at all a bad thing,
What's wrong if you can cook, dance and sing?
Things should either be perfect or simply absent,
This is the attitude that took my brains on rent!

I dreamt of perfect happiness and perfect smiles,
I dreamt of perfect people spread across the miles,
I dreamt of perfection spreading like forest fires,
I dreamt of happiness for all, which never ever retires!

And, whenever I woke up to reality's claps,
I felt my dreams had set for me - these traps,
Then I tried to analyze the authentic situation,
I tried to decipher the subsistence of perfection!

And I realized perfection is just hallucination,
More like a ghost, it's just this mind's illusion!
Perfection doesn't exist, it's simply impossible,
Imperfection is much more honest and plausible!

Life comes full circle, but that circle isn't perfect!
The prospect of a perfect world, itself is imperfect!
That's why life has its own imperfect way,
Around Perfection, it doesn't at all sway!

Only in dreams, is life a pathway of rose-petals,
The reality also consists of thorns and metals,
I'm contented I'm not perfect; at least I'm genuine,
In my own world of imperfections, I'm the queen!

I feel Perfection is simply for intuitive adoring,
Perfection in reality could be truly madly boring,
In being imperfect, I guess, lies all the fun,
I'm so glad I'm a Perfectly Imperfect One!!!

His Silent Sobs!!!

Born in a small village in Uttar Pradesh, I was a naughty child,
Even on my disasters, my dad would punish me mild,
My mom said I was the apple of her old eyes,
We all were happy together, it felt very nice.

I spent all my childhood, lazing away with pals,
Unaware of large buildings, cities and malls,
My village was my world, I was a happy kid there,
Where every house and heart, to each other was near.

As I grew up, I realised life was quite tough,
Dealing with it, my parents' hands grew rough,
I was a grown-up too, and had to share the weight,
I even felt bad that may be I realised this very late!

I wanted to do something quickly, to earn big bucks,
But it wasn't possible by farming chicken and ducks,
So I decided to do something that made my parents cry,
But I knew the money would soon puff those tears dry.

I knew I drove pretty well, all the farmers would agree,
For driving tractors in their farms, they could award me a degree,
I decided to go to Mumbai, that’s called the city of dreams,
I would drive autos and taxis there, be a part of drivers' teams.

My mom totally cried her eyes out,
Dad too was upset, without a doubt,
They said they were happy in rags, wanted no riches,
They like their old clothes with hundreds of stitches.

But I was firm, to give them a better life,
I was ready to undergo a period of strife,
Would earn lots of money and save some,
So I can come back soon, back to my home!

With a heavy heart they agreed, what else could they tell?
But before I left, they wanted to hear my wedding bell.
I got married to this girl, as beautiful as the crescent moon,
I knew she'd take care of my parents, and be a real boon.

I had a beautiful month with my new bride,
I'd bathe her in money, I thought with pride,
Promising to call every week and meet every year,
I bade good-bye to each person who was my dear!

Then, to fulfil all my dreams, I arrived in this city that never sleeps,
I couldn't get off my head, the sound of my mom's and wife's weeps,
It wasn't as easy to live alone, as I had thought,
Had for this loneliness, with my family I fought?

But the toughest part was over and now I had to be strong,
I knew that my faith in myself would never prove me wrong.
So all set for every experience, I started to drive,
I was pretty sure, my family, of nothing would deprive.

I drive hundreds to their destinations each day,
And during those trips, a lot of things they say,
I hear all their conversations, and remain noiseless,
Even if I want to advise them, I remain voiceless.

There are husbands and wives that bitterly fight,
I can only miss my loving wife, every day and night,
There are young kids who lie to their mother,
When will I see mine? I can't help but bother.

The homesickness doesn't make me sick however,
I'm more motivated to work harder than ever,
I drive for all the more hours, may be 15 each day,
And I should be able to go back soon, I kind of pray!

Over is a year, and its time for an annual visit to motherland,
They're awaiting my arrival eagerly, with a flower-garland,
I go back to my village, my home, to my beloved folks,
And quickly passes a month, filled with love and jokes.

And the night before I leave, as if, for the war-field,
Talks to me, my bride, with her eyes tears-filled,
She says she doesn't like it without me, its too lonely,
And I assure her, it’s a matter of some more time only!

In a similar fashion, pass a few more years,
Slowly, with time, dried are her tears,
My parents died in their rags, not riches,
And garments for my kids, my wife stitches!

I skipped meals and saved more money,
Sending kids to school, isn't at all funny,
I missed seeing their first walks,
I missed hearing their first talks.

After every trip to home, I decided to put an end,
This would be the last time, I would purely intend,
But time kept passing, seasons after seasons,
My return kept delaying, reasons after reasons!

Now my kids are taller than me, not kids anymore,
But I still need to earn money, may be, a little more,
I don't know for how much more time, here I'll stay,
My head is half bald now, with scanty hair thats gray!

I still drive hundreds of passengers many places,
And back to my family, only my memory traces,
I see young girls and guys, they're all so fine,
Oh! So dearly, I miss those of mine!!

Is this a vicious cycle, I got trapped into?
Is there nothing that I could undo?
I missed living with my parents, kids and wife,
For all my life, I feel sorry, I kept missing life!

My Fallen Angel !!!

When you had fallen from the Heavens up there,

I certainly knew God had sent you for me here,

I rushed towards you to check if you were hurt,

But you sparkled, without even a speck of dirt!

When life seemed dark, your smile shone bright,

Even with those lost hopes, everything felt right,

I loved you so much, you were always on my mind,

It wouldn't be amiss to say your love made me blind.

You were shy, and I knew it was an angelic feature,

I admired you, Oh so much! My Heavenly Creature!!

You were my cute Angel, Fallen for me on this earth,

Only for me, Oh Cutie! You were granted this Birth!!

You brought me good luck, my only lucky charm,

I would keep you precious, never allow any harm.

I would save you from the witches' enchantment,

And keep you aloof from the bitches' entrapment!

If you were just a dream, I wanted it to end never,

And for that my love, I was ready to sleep forever,

Nightmares of losing you, made me find a way,

That would keep us together forever, my way!

I knew if you ever walked off leaving me deserted,

You'd come back to me sooner, my heart asserted,

For our love, with this world we could have fought,

Would it really happen or so I merely thought?

I would hold you so strong, never let you fall,

That descend from the Heavens, would be all.

But fallen you had once, and fell you again,

That one was a pleasure, and this one - pain.

I thought life was complete and love graven,

The day, for me, you had fallen from Heaven,

But to all my love, bringing shame and disgrace,

You, my beloved Angel, have fallen from grace!

I wouldn't loathe your presence, but continue your addiction,

Only if you hadn't lost your respect yourself in my conviction,

I'm glad you were just a charming dream that forever didn't last,

Not my mind's entirety, you deserve just a modest corner in my past!

Eternal Retrospection!

I look into the mirror with my lips smiling

And I'm quite aware my mind has qualms piling

I move closer and peep into my own eyes

And suddenly my dazzling smile dies

Is my life as perfect as I had premeditated?

Or has it, on a wrong path, widely deviated?

Now my lips neither smile nor frown

And in this important thought, I drown

Did I move on to fulfilling dreams I had treasured?

Or by my own wrong choices, was I pressured?

I know that it isn't exactly as I had always wanted,

But with every wrong thing, it isn't even haunted!

Nothing is wrong, yet nothing is right!

In nothingness, with this world I fight!!

Is the delicate drape of my fancies torn

Because every rose comes with a thorn?

Are my desires too much to gain

That it takes bearing so much pain?

No, I'm not a coward; pain I don't fear!

But so much on my mind is still unclear!!

Is it the world that's really so rough?

Or is it my mind just playing tough?

I have seen everything has always had a reason,

Why do I still feel there's surely some treason?

Why can't I decide if it’s all good or very bad?

I don't even know whether I'm joyful or sad!

Nothing is wrong, yet nothing is right!

In nothingness, with Myself I fight!!

Everything Passes By!

 

The long summer days when you drench in sweat,

The pouring rainy evenings that make you all wet!

The cold nights that make you shiver,

The chills that make you quiver!

The stress at work that makes you mad,

The failures that make you feel bad!

The success that makes you brightly shine,

The bottles of champagne & glasses of wine!

The moments of anger, disgust and pain,

The times when you feel like all is in vain!

The tears you shed when reality bites,

The joy you feel on flying kites!

The speed of a super-fast life,

The sharpness of a brand-new knife!

The brightness of a shining light,

The glories of a brave Knight!

The smiles, laughter and little joys,

The innocence of those young boys!

The pride and joy of having power,

The sweetness of a fresh flower!

The strength of those tall pillars,

The ugly phase of caterpillars!

The carefree days of your childhood,

The taste of your favorite food!

The excitement of that first date,

The curiosity to know your fate!

The subtle pain of your wisdom tooth,

The long queue outside a telephone booth! 

The charm of that attractive smile,

The energy to run that extra mile!

The smell of your freshly painted house,

The adjustments with your new spouse!

The love for your new car,

The pain of a fresh scar!

The time when you badly miss your best friend,

The time when you wish that the hardships end!

The value of every breath,

And finally the fear of Death!!!

[Composed on 19.10.2010 and 20.10.2010]

The Reason...

Many a times you feel very happy or sad, so much so that it shows up in every thing you do. You might not care about what people around you think of whatever you do in that flow of the feeling. You might just sing loudly, dance around, walk with a sway, giggle and chuckle, crack stupid jokes or sit quietly with a long face, not respond to conversations properly, be gloomy even in an environment of total fun.


In either of the cases, people around you who care about you would ask you the reason for your happiness or sadness. And you wouldn't mind telling them provided that you knew the reason yourself. And then you start thinking about the reason why you feel that way.


I feel one should try to find the reason for sadness only and not that of one's happiness. The logic is simple. Why do you need to know the reason of your happiness when you are already happy? You should figure out the reason for your sadness because that helps you understand the problem that's the root cause of your sadness. And once you know the problem, you might try to solve it or compromise with it. 


Now, if you feel you should know the reason for your happiness so that you could make it recur time and again... Think about it again! Don't you anyways know what makes you happy? Are there really so less things that make you happy that you would like to repeat the reasons of your happiness time and again?? Can you actually control things around you so much that you manage to make that reason recur??? 


Seriously, do you need to waste your time trying to figure out the reason instead of enjoying the state of your happiness? Is it really worth those precious moments??


So, now you know when to look within yourself for 'the reason'...