Generations Apart...

This post is based on certain discussions that I have recently had with friends of my age regarding how things aren't the same with parents as they were during our childhood.

We all love our parents. And as much as we would like to believe that love is blind, we cannot deny that love isn't deaf and dumb. There are times when we hear them say things which don't fit in our logical minds. We have a completely different opinion on those topics. Sometimes we end up arguing with them but it does't help. The arguments either leave a bitterness in our hearts for some time, or just fall on deaf ears. Sometimes we even get to hear things like "you are too grown up to listen to your parents". Such statements further increase our anguish and we feel worse about these differences we have in our opinions.

Let us take a trip through our growing years and make an analysis. Why is it that we think so different from what they do when they are the ones who brought us up. Aren't we supposed to be a reflection of what our parents are? Isn't reproduction all about creating your own self, again? Let's see...

As kids we hear and understand what our parents say. We learn what they teach us. And that's it. That's truth for us. We do not know whether it's correct or not. And we don't feel the need to know. That's because our mind never challenges it. As we start growing up and meeting more people, we come across different thoughts and different beliefs. Simultaneously our logic starts developing. We start developing the power of reasoning. We start attaining capability to analyze what suits us. We start deciding whether we fit in one system or the other. We start creating our own systems as well. We get exposed to the world and our perceptions change.

Meanwhile, our parents are still living life in a similar way as they were. Of course change is inevitable. But the changes in their lives are usually not as drastic as those in ours. That's simply because they are grownup enough and we are still growing. Life was different while growing up in their times. And after an era, while we are growing, times are totally different. And so are our lives and the way we perceive it. 

It is no rocket science to decipher that such differences are natural amidst generations. But yet we fail to understand them. We fail to accept them.  Because they don't help us hear what our logical minds want to hear. We might even feel guilty about thinking against the thoughts of our creators. After all we do realize that we are what we are because they let us make our lives our way. And how do we overcome this discomfort caused due to the guilt? How do we cope up with those olden illogical theories? How do we bridge the gap and break the wall?

The simplest way is to understand that love and logic don't go along well. Yes. Give it another thought if you need to. Love defies logic and logic doesn't always support love. So the first thing you need to do is separate your logic from the love you have for the elderly. Now that you love them in their absolute state, let's put that important logical thinking to some good use.

Your beliefs are quite strong, aren't they? Now imagine how strong must be their belief system given that they have seen life almost twice as much as you have. When you are so sure about the correctness of your beliefs at this age, they are obviously double sure at their age. You may be ready to change your beliefs given that supporting logic convinces you. But it might not be the same with them. And that's ok. Yes, it is. 

Resistance to change increases with age. Look at yourself now and compare how flexible your mind is as compared to when you were a kid. I'm sure you can see your comfort zone has shrunk over years. Today you might be ready to relocate to another continent if you get a good opportunity but your parents might not even budge at the prospects of a much better life in the neighboring city. So what? That's probably how their life has made them. And probably they didn't have as much choice to mould their lives their ways as you do. You'd never know!

The point is that we need to stop expecting them to change. We need to understand that no matter how necessary change is, it can't be denied that we are resistant to it. And their resistance is naturally going to be stronger than ours. Most of our "problems" with older generations will be solved if we stop linking them with logics and reasoning and just accept them as they are. After all, life is too short and differences will only increase the distance of travel.

[Additional related reads from my blog: Love Defies Logic... ]

Back in the box...

The Blabber:

Hello there! It has been really really really long having posted something here, 17-18 months to be precise. And I could have been "doubly productive" in that long a time. Anyways, I intend to compensate my absence with a lot of posts hence-forth. But it'll first start with a lot of blabbering and then move ahead to the actual post. So if you want to cut my blabber, please scroll down directly to "The Post".

Alright, now that you choose to read my blabber, be warned, it's A LOT. 

First things first, let me take off my guilt-coat for not having written in a long long time. Well, I could have had a lot of excuses to list as reasons. But honestly, I was just to lazy and caught up in real life. I barely got time to jot it down. I must have written thousand of posts in my head, but unfortunately, they couldn't make it to this spot. But the good news is, I intend to be regular at writing again.

Also, I have never made new year resolutions for the last so many years that I remember. But this time I did. They aren't really the kind that come and go. These are more practical ones. Things that I have been meaning to accomplish since a while. And one of those resolutions is to write regularly.

Honestly, I have been really missing my blog. And every time I happen to be in a situation that's blog-worthy, I sort of make a mental note to post about it. So, we can hope for a lot to come because while I was away, I have been giving a lot of advises and relationship gyaan to my friends. And usually that is the stuff that makes it to this page in a different avatar. 

Anyways, enough of promises of intent. Let's come to the point. I really haven't planned how I am going to write this post but I am sure what it is about. So this is about a promise I made to a dear friend about 3 years ago. And when I decided to start writing again, I wanted to start with fulfilling the long pending promise. I guess he must have even forgotten about this request of his to write on this topic. But I am a lady of my word.

Just a brief background, and some planned coincidence-
My friend has a blog called "Blabber", where his first blog is "Back in the Box" which revolves around a lamp post. And that explains "The Post" below. I am going to quote certain pieces from there because this is in reply to a request.

The Post:

Woke up to a message from a friend (Early during Feb 2011) which said : 

Was drunken awake @ 4. Watching dutiful ol’ lamp-post, lone in the starlight. Later to ask myself, “Why is it that we try to make sense of everything we bump across?” Thought of writing it maself, then the wise little birdie wispered in its soft tone, “Plead it to the experts”

I had to read it again to make sense of it, not just because I had just woken up, but also because there was a lot in the short message. Most importantly, I couldn't believe it came from him. He was usually the victim of all my lectures and pranks. But more than that he was a fan of my writing. Hence, the request. 

I called him up to check what he exactly meant by that. He said that he meant it doesn't make sense to find sense in everything. Like a lamp post on the road has got no meaning. It is just there because it should be. Just because it would be dark without it. There is nothing else about it. I wondered if he was thinking too much. But  before I could think much, he again asked me to write about it. 

So, the request was written as well as verbal as well as in senselessness as well as in senses. Although I really didn't know what to write, I still made a promise that I would. It got more serious when he mentioned about it in his first blog like:

Wrote a senseless message to a friend, Was drunken awake @ 4. Watching dutiful ol’ lamp-post, lone in the starlight. Later to ask myself, “Why is it that we try to make sense of everything we bump across?” Thought of writing it maself, then the wise little birdie wispered in its soft tone, “Plead it to the experts” (She promises me that I can see this in one of her blogs, I’m waiting…).

And now the request was public. But I knew one thing, no matter when I write about it and what I write about it, it will always be in contrast to this belief. So here I go...

I am a strong believer of "everything has a meaning". I also believe that "everything happens for a reason". Yes, and that's the reason I believe that everything has a deeper meaning than we can see superficially. Of course we can't know each and every aspect of everything that we see. But that doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Like in the case of a lamp-post, although it is there to provide us the much needed light, it could have been carrying so many more stories. Most probably the stories got created because the post already exists there, but we would never know if the post was there because those things were meant to happen! Lets say for example, 

• A sad group of friends was meant to cheer up, so the lamp-post was exactly where one of them would turn around and bump into it
• An insecure girlfriend was meant to be assured when the lamp-post was exactly where her boyfriend promised to her to stand by her like the same lamp-post
• An old man was meant to be safe when he held the lamp-post on feeling weak
• And, there could be so much more......

This world is not just an accident. It has been planned very carefully. If you think about it, you'll agree with me. There is a reason behind every small thing. The pettiest and most meaningless things could hold logic beyond our philosophical capacities. One need not be able to understand things as and when they happen. Most of the times, they affect your lives later enough to even remember. 

I am sure all of us meet a lot of people. We do not get along with everybody, and most of the friendships don't even last forever. We also get into wrong relationships and suffer heartbreaks and headaches. But then, when we meet the right people, we really understand their value because of the wrong ones.. because we know how much better they are and how much worse people can be. We also evolve with every incident that happens in our life. Each person is a catalyst in our life. Whatever we are today is because of the smallest of things that we did yesterday. And this will continue for ever. 

I wouldn't want to miss mentioning the movie "Sucker Punch" symbolizes the Symbolic nature of life very well. The things that we categorize insignificant could symbolize a big deal. That is the way life gives you hints and warnings. But yeah, although symbolization is something that can connect with this topic, I feel like saving it for later. May be a blog-overdose could carry deeper effects.

Who had thought that a stupid message from a drunk guy at 4 a.m. could create so many things? That message started his blog. It made me come back to my blog earlier than I would have otherwise. It made me reuse my old laptop which was literally buried under a heap of other useless things. And it will soon make my friend realize, I do keep promises.

So Yash, this is for you buddy! Cheers!!

The Reason...

Many a times you feel very happy or sad, so much so that it shows up in every thing you do. You might not care about what people around you think of whatever you do in that flow of the feeling. You might just sing loudly, dance around, walk with a sway, giggle and chuckle, crack stupid jokes or sit quietly with a long face, not respond to conversations properly, be gloomy even in an environment of total fun.


In either of the cases, people around you who care about you would ask you the reason for your happiness or sadness. And you wouldn't mind telling them provided that you knew the reason yourself. And then you start thinking about the reason why you feel that way.


I feel one should try to find the reason for sadness only and not that of one's happiness. The logic is simple. Why do you need to know the reason of your happiness when you are already happy? You should figure out the reason for your sadness because that helps you understand the problem that's the root cause of your sadness. And once you know the problem, you might try to solve it or compromise with it. 


Now, if you feel you should know the reason for your happiness so that you could make it recur time and again... Think about it again! Don't you anyways know what makes you happy? Are there really so less things that make you happy that you would like to repeat the reasons of your happiness time and again?? Can you actually control things around you so much that you manage to make that reason recur??? 


Seriously, do you need to waste your time trying to figure out the reason instead of enjoying the state of your happiness? Is it really worth those precious moments??


So, now you know when to look within yourself for 'the reason'...