My Special Relationship…

Prologue

He slapped my guy and pushed so hard that my guy fell a considerable distance away from me. He then attacked me with an unbelievable force. There was intent. He was resolute. I fell on the beach. Then he threw himself all over me, almost entering me in every possible way. Even before I could bring myself together and comprehend what was happening, he threw himself on me, pushing me towards the beach and pulled me back to him, still being all over me. Carnal. I was dizzy, even high with all that sea water inside me. Moments later, he again pushed himself all into me, pushing me harder towards the beach and pulling me more towards himself. A déjà vu of what transpired a while back. He was totally wild today. And I had never seen him like this before. Animal! I cussed under my breath.

Do I feel violated? Or was this relationship leading to all this in the most natural way?? Should I look back in time to analyze how it has been???

About since a year ago, in Mumbai

I arrive in this city and my guy wants me to meet "him", my guy's close buddy since childhood.

My guy introduces me to him. And I feel like I'm in love with him. Yes, it was love at first sight, however clichéd it may sound, but this was really special.

He becomes my solace, the only source of respite from the busy and taxing Mumbai life, which I hadn't quite coped up with. He is the only thing I thanked Mumbai for.

There was something about him, I couldn't understand. May be it was his resemblance with life. His unpredictability. His mood-swings. He mirrored Mumbai, however, that seemed illogical superficially. His liveliness. That energy and sparkle that I could feel in life, always reflected in him. That is why he always attracted me, I guess.

Sometimes we spent whole evenings together. Sometimes there were late-night dates. When I came across him while hanging out with friends, I would totally ignore my friends and just be with him. Sometimes, I would slip out of office during the lunch break to share a few moments with him. It had always been very special, every moment.

I could never have enough of him. Although I could never spend too much time with him, but every moment had always been special.

It wasn't a usual relationship. He wasn't like anybody else. He would always be all ears for me. No matter what I said, good or bad, he always listened to me. But he never replied, he was a patient listener but a poor talker. He probably wanted me to listen to my heart more than anybody else. He probably thought that what others say about your life is noise. He didn't want to contribute to the noise, probably. He always kept silent so that I could listen to the voice of my heart. And strangely, this philosophy worked.

I always felt better after spending time with him. I could just sit near him and not say a word, just keep looking at him. Yet, it felt as if he could listen to my thoughts. There were also these times when I was in a really chirpy mood and would go to see him. He would again do the same, listen to me. I never felt bad about his silence. He had his own ways to show his participation in my joys and sorrows. That contented me.

I never even felt I was cheating on anybody with him. I loved spending time with him. In the initial few days, I could spare a lot of time for him. But slowly it kept reducing. No, the charm never faded. It was only about my availability. Even a single moment of silence spent together would suffice. We never had to bother about the quality of the time spent.

But of late, it had been a long long time since I had spent any time with him. I knew he was always there for me. I never really had to care about any regular meetings or dates. No matter how much time-distance separated us, I knew he would always be there.

Yesterday, at Baga Beach in Goa

I had had loads of fun yesterday. I had spent some nice time with him - playing, running around, giggling. Parting was a little painful, it always is. But I had to go. I was really tired of the sleepless 30 hours spent travelling, working, and reading. I had not planned to meet him right after reaching Goa. I wanted to take some rest before we met. I wanted to be fresh so that I could enjoy every moment with him.

But that attraction couldn't let me stop myself.

And I did end up seeing him immediately. Actually, I'm not sure what my guy knows about my connection with him. He only knows I enjoy my time with him. So, "we" ended up seeing him immediately.

We had had a nice time together, the three of us, on this beach full of romance. There were people enjoying all over the beach. There was so much joy in the air, it almost felt like a sweet-dream.

Being with him in Mumbai had been a lot different. It was only platonic there. But here, it was a lot more. We played a lot on the beach. I still couldn’t get enough of him. But, like I've mentioned, I needed some rest. So, I left with a half-heart. I knew I could meet him the next day as well. And I should have eagerly waited for it.

But, strangely, I found myself trying to avoid him today. It was a pretty lively Sunday and I could see people chilling out on this most happening beach of Goa.

We went to the beach and enjoyed the sight of people having such a gala time.

I had already told my guy I wasn't in a mood to meet him. Despite okaying the thought earlier, on reaching the beach, my guy insisted on meeting him. I told my guy to carry on while I would sit away and watch the frolic from a distance. But eventually, I had to give in to meeting him. I wasn't feeling too right about it. However, it had almost become unavoidable.

So here I was, with my guy and him. We started playing on the beach, like, running around and talking and giggling. It was all pretty joyful. I wasn't feeling awkward anymore. In fact, I was enjoying myself more than yesterday. And then, suddenly something strange happened.

He slapped my guy and pushed so hard that my guy fell a considerable distance away from me. He then attacked me with an unbelievable force. There was intent. He was resolute. I fell on the beach. Then he threw himself all over me, almost entering me in every possible way. Even before I could bring myself together and comprehend what was happening, he threw himself on me, pushing me towards the beach and pulled me back to him, still being all over me. Carnal. I was dizzy, even high with all that sea water inside me. Moments later, he again pushed himself all into me, pushing me harder towards the beach and pulling me more towards himself. A déjà vu of what transpired a while back. He was totally wild today. And I had never seen him like this before. Animal! I cussed under my breath.

Probably he presumed consent because I went to him. And probably it was because of the full moon day approaching that he was so high. Its weird how my sea had such a close connection with the moon, so far away. May be distances don't really matter when the connections are strong.

I was totally flabbergasted with this wild love-making session with the sea. I could feel him everywhere inside me. I couldn’t understand if he was a part of me or I was a part of him. It wasn't anything like normal. It was beyond human. It felt totally crazy. And I don't feel snubbed or violated. I know he is always going to be there for me, just like he has always been- a patient listener, a poor talker, caring, understanding, all absorbing, and always available. May be this was the time he expressed his love for me, in an attempt to prove that he isn't that poor a talker as I have always accused him to be. After all, actions speak louder than words, don't they?

[Congratulations Gautam for your editorial debut. You shall be offered a really lucrative job when i become a full-time author. Until then, be patient.]